The Zombie's Breakfast Special

Rose Pork Brains in Milk Gravy flanked by Monkeys in Fezzes salt & peppers shakers given to me by Lauren "Green Bean" Johnson

 

My friend Christopher Goodwin often posts photos on his Facebook page of the oddities he finds around his current home in Durham, NC. He's one of my favorite artists and a lot of his photos are of abandoned stores, fast food failures and kitschy motels. He's a pretty fascinating guy. So, one day, he posts a photo from a Food Lion of cans of Rose Pork Brains in Milk Gravy and most of the reactions were of the "EWWW!" variety but I was salivating a little. My paternal grandmother would occasionally cook brains and eggs for her breakfast but I always visited too late to try them. Once, I almost got there in time but my Uncle Skip beat me to them and refused to share. I don't know where Granmom got the fresh brains she cooked but, at one time, you could find calf brains at the Giant up until that Mad Cow outbreak in the '80s. I hadn't seen pork brains anywhere until Christopher's post.
     Up to that point I was thinking that the only way I was going to get my hands on some brains would be if searched Mom-and-Pop groceries on visits to my mom in South Carolina or if I somehow managed a trip to southeast Asia (where everything and anything is considered a delicacy). Luckily Christopher, being the good friend that he is, sent me a can and I just got around to eating them today and they were pretty damn tasty. I can only imagine how much better it would have been if I had made them with fresh brains. Upon opening the can you first get the unappealing visual of the thin, grayish pink milk gravy. A quick sniff and I was reminded of one of my other childhood faves, Vienna Sausages but, sadly, the gravy has barely any taste other than salt. After straining off the gravy I was disappointed by how little brains were actually in the 5 oz can (I'd say less than a third is brains). A quick search of YouTube resulted in people playing up the "yuck" factor, presumably to make themselves look brave for trying it. My philosophy is that, somewhere in this big world, there are a bunch of people who eat things Americans think awful on a regular basis and it hasn't killed them so I should try it too.
     I, actually, only looked at two videos and decided the authors were poseurs and hadn't a clue. One guy cites the high cholesterol (3100 mg per can) and decides he won't eat out of fear of an immediate heart attack so, what does he do? He cooks it up for his dogs because if it kills them he can always get another dog.
     Okay, that said, I figured I'd cook 'em the way my grammy would have with minor differences because I'm using canned. First off, I drained off the gravy (which I poured into the sink before I realized The Kitties might like it). I had already cooked a sausage patty before I remembered the can o' brains still on my desk so I had a little fat in the pan to scramble to eggs in and, before they were set I threw in about half the drained brains, salt and pepper to heat the brains through. I ate it with some leftover grits because you can't get any more Southern than that. They were pretty good, as I said, and the taste was very obviously pork-y like a more delicate, lighter ham flavor. The texture had a little more body than the scrambled eggs. Because this was my first taste of them I decided to forego additional seasoning but I think it could've used a little hot sauce.
     Again, I would like to thank Christopher Goodwin for sending me the brains. You should really check out his artwork at Goodwin Art and his other art project Trashball.

Don't hate, tasted great...